The annual tradition of running a Meathman through the streets of Drogheda will continue next year after the capture of ex-GAA All Star Trevor Giles on a recent shopping excursion to Scotch Hall. Giles will be kept in solitary confinement in Laurence’s Gate until organisers settle on a date for the centuries old tradition.

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Moneymore Inhabitants & Residents Association (MIRA) last night vowed that their proposed secession from Drogheda will be as violent as possible. In a video seen by The Faa Side, a balaclavad MIRA spokesperson announced the intention to secede from Drogheda and join Dundalk and place themselves nearer to ‘the struggle’. Ultimately, MIRA aspire to be annexed by the Brits so they can then fight for independence to join the Republic of Ireland.