Reported sightings of Councillor Shanks Godfrey standing on the Donore Road waiting for a bandwagon to pass by have been confirmed as false. Earlier today, several motorists passed the Louth County Councillor who appeared to be hitching a ride to Drawda.

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Families and friends of sick patients in our Lady of Lourdes Hospital have been eulogizing the newly introduced valet service at the hospital car park. There had been widespread complaints about the scandalously high parking fees of €4 with a full day capped at €20. Car owners visiting poorly relatives were literally getting sick when hit with the parking fee on their way out.

Drogheda United, New York Cosmos and Ballsgrove Scroats have emerged as early favourites in the race to sign Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard. Gerrard announced late last night that he would be leaving Liverpool at the end of the season. While coy on his preferred destination, there were enough ‘come and get me’ signals in his statement for the two Drogheda clubs to act.