Families and friends of sick patients in our Lady of Lourdes Hospital have been eulogizing the newly introduced valet service at the hospital car park. There had been widespread complaints about the scandalously high parking fees of €4 with a full day capped at €20. Car owners visiting poorly relatives were literally getting sick when hit with the parking fee on their way out.

Drogheda United, New York Cosmos and Ballsgrove Scroats have emerged as early favourites in the race to sign Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard. Gerrard announced late last night that he would be leaving Liverpool at the end of the season. While coy on his preferred destination, there were enough ‘come and get me’ signals in his statement for the two Drogheda clubs to act.

An emergency town meeting is to be held on Wednesday evening next at Barlow House to address the issue of Narrow West Street. Long known as ‘the traders’ graveyard’, the street has now descended into an eyesore in a town of ugly. Bookended by a butchers and a tat shop, Narrow West Street is in need of some love. At this stage even some inappropriate flirting would be helpful.