The cloistered life of the Sienna nuns was briefly shocked from silence this morning as two of their superfluity were suspended without prayer. Two young nuns are accused of lacing communion wafers with terrible sins. Being a silent order, the two alleged saboteurs were ordered off convent grounds by what one onlooker described as “a game of cruel charades.” The wafers had been circulating in St. Peter’s parish, Drogheda, for three weeks.
Reported sightings of Councillor Shanks Godfrey standing on the Donore Road waiting for a bandwagon to pass by have been confirmed as false. Earlier today, several motorists passed the Louth County Councillor who appeared to be hitching a ride to Drawda.
Some news you may have missed:
Barber banter down 22% on last year—Drogheda bridge club a breeding ground for gamblers says Tully—15th hole the latest hole to be stolen from Cement pitch & putt
Donneycarney Set Dancing resumes this week in the parish hall on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 8 and 9pm. The […]
The stories that got the town gossiping this week included:
Drogheda Independent warned by NUJ after Peter Andre story—North Quay water excavations show Constitution Hill used to be ‘magic road’—Ardee Nazis chastised by local Drogheda branch for incorrectly drawn swastikas—Search for souls intensifies as Augustinian’s purchase decapitated head of Saint Paul
Families and friends of sick patients in our Lady of Lourdes Hospital have been eulogizing the newly introduced valet service at the hospital car park. There had been widespread complaints about the scandalously high parking fees of €4 with a full day capped at €20. Car owners visiting poorly relatives were literally getting sick when hit with the parking fee on their way out.