Just after midnight in Baltray, Drawda Mayor Oliver Tully tweeted: “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” That was it. No more. Just that word “covfefe” left hanging there.

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Sauron, Chief Lieutenant of the first Dark Lord, Morgoth, and erstwhile tormentor of Middle Earth has been co-opted onto Drawda Borough Council to replace Cllr. Alan Cassidy, who resigned last week.

A visibly pumped Peter Fitzpatrick promised his constituents there was more to come after breaking his own record for bench presses in the Dáil gym. The Faa Side caught up with Deputy Fitzpatrick about half way through his routine.

Following the parochial decision of the Boundary Commission to ignore population growth trends, experts on urban development and Drogheda, Senator Ged Nash has decided to take some time to process the decision by joining the new American Monastery in Stamullen.

At a Brexit conference in Drawda last night ex-electrical salesman Peter Fitzpatrick, TD for just Dundalk, announced that he was being introduced into cross border Brexit talks by the Government. It is hoped Fitzpatrick’s presence will cause enough confusion to distract the British delegation from signing off on a hard border.

Lets deconstruct our first citizen’s Christmas message.

It has been confirmed that local Fine Gael Councillor Richie Culhane is in fact a hologram. The discovery was made by a group of junior cycle students from a local secondary school.