There was great excitement about the town this week as Hurricane Ophelia ‘battered’ the town. Once it was announced that the country was closed on Monday, off-licences and supermaakets were cleant out of it, in that order. Some people seem to think that this is the first time the town has suffered at the handada wind, but older, wiser heads know better. They’ve been dealing with the bitter breeze blowing in from Meath since wind was invented…

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If there’s one thing The Faa Side loves its cleanliness. We were given a discarded Tidy Towns report sheet found on a street in Navan. We are 94% shoer it is genuine. This is because there is no filing system in Navan and Meath people don’t believe in shredding. Here is a digested summary.

Hugh Keirans, the smut baron often likened to the American Playboy owner Hugh Heffner, died today at the Playboy Hey! Mansion on the Dublin Road, aged 84.

 St. Laurence’s Gate is to be reopened to traffic for National Heritage Week. The shock move comes just days after the Barbican structure was finally closed to traffic after a long and tedious social media campaign littered with infighting, egotism and one badly lit “greening” on St. Patrick’s Day. The move was greeted with much fanfare in contrarian and taxi driving circles but with resignation in other, normaler circles.

The town was buzzin’ last weekend. Buzzin’.That’s cos’ it was a bank holdee Faa Side, says you. Faa frumih. It’s cuzduhwuz a relic in town. Literally nothing gets Drawda excited as when a new relic comes to town. And they don’t much bigger than a speck of Muddur Teresa’s blood on a muslin cloth. Here’s the top 5 religious relic visits to the town, rated in terms of class, super power and revenue potential.

It may be over now, but it was fun while it lasted. Last week’s humanitarian disaster was great for the town. Reaction ranged from the stoic to the hysteric as social media was saturated by the great unwashed. Locals who’ve obviously never been to the developing world became convinced that Drawda had morphed into a third world country.