It has been confirmed that the unpleasant odour coming from the Dublin Road area is not, as was previously thought, a burst sewage pipe. Rather, the smell is in fact the stench of white collar crime.
He’s barely been in the job 2 days and he’s already been nominated for the Nobel Prize after brokering a peace deal between Moneymore and Rathmullen. But that’s just an average day in the life of new Drawda Mayor, Pio Smith.
Security was called this evening to remove Peter ‘Fitzer’ Fitzpatrick from the Dáil gym just moments after Leo Varadkar was elected leader of Fine Gael. The former Louth manager was escorted from the premises clutching a barbell, which had become fused to his being.
Just after midnight in Baltray, Drawda Mayor Oliver Tully tweeted: “Despite the constant negative press covfefe.” That was it. No more. Just that word “covfefe” left hanging there.