In scenes reminiscent of The Famine, Turkish ships set sail from Istanbul this morning laden with water to help the stricken Drawda population. The ships last embarked on the 6000km journey during the Great Famine or Great Hunger as it was known locally.
The Faa Side understands that a convoy of ships carrying 30 swimming pools and 14 Jacuzzis full of water is expected to complete the 6000km journey well in advance of Irish Water completing the repair to the couple of metres of asbestos piping in Staleen, Co. Meath. The relief was brought to the attention of Turkish President Recep Yayyip Erdoğan by local Councillor Shanks Godfrey, who once tried to twin Drogheda with Kuşadasi.*
The Dictator took some time off from his programme of domestic repression to wish the non-believing infidels of Drog-heda well.
“The people of Drog-heda are very lucky to have this man, this extraordinary political lobbyist Shanks Godfrey. Even though he mistakenly thinks that the crescent on the crest of Drog-heda is a tribute to Ottoman Sultan, Khaleefah Abdul-Majid I who sent ships of food to the town during Ireland’s famine, no matter. Turkey is only too happy to help the sick man of Europe. It is the least we can do when so many Drog Heda women come to Turkey in the summer months to be seduced by our famous waiters. And to be honest, I can only take this Shanks in small doses.”
Locals have been axt not to attack the ships as they pass by Mornington, as is the local custom.