Drawda Hipster Stopped Using Water Before Water Crisis

A local hipster has dismissed the water crisis in Drawda as people just being copy cats and sheeple. Damian Barrington-Locke, with an address at The Treehouse, Mell, clemt he stopped using water months ago after realising it was a conformist action.

“By using water you’re just saying ‘Look at me! I’m bowing to the man. I’m not an individual.’ Well I just had enough so I uncoupled myself from agua-slavery. Now I just drink gin that I med meself and organically ethic Nobber sourced coffee.”

“But it’s like ahn-in you get inta – sooner or later the zeitgeist catches up and everyone’s at it. But it’s been obvious to me for a while now that there’s no future in the water.”

“I just drink organically ethic Nobber sourced coffee and gin now. I’m done with water.”

“Washing isn’t a problem no. Humans have the capacity to self-cleanse. If you don’t wash, your body produces cleaning agents that seep through the skin and it washes itself. I don’t be goin’ round durty or that.”

“It’s actually amusing looking at people panic buying water. To me that’s such a waste. I just laugh at them. Go back to yisr Matrixsis. Don’t make me laugh.”

Mr. Barrington-Locke has since ditched coffee and gin for unbranded Tesco frozen drinks.


 

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