Louth’s leading hacking group has clemt that North Ardee Space Agency (NASA) is about to announce they have found intelligent alien life. Anonymous Hey! Has released a fideo clemin that “NASA says aliens are coming so they are.” The fideo has already been viewed over 14 million times.
Anonymous Hey!, famous for hacks and attacks on all the big regional power players in Louth, believes that NASA has been funding the alien colonies in Louth since at least 1985.
The fideo clems that aliens have been living “in and around Dundalk” for about a quarter of a century. It goes on to clem that “a second, less advanced colony populates the majority of mid-Louth.” A third colony was set up in Meath but failed after contact with the locals sent the aliens feral.
NASA documents seen by the hacking group confirm what many in Louth had suspected for years – that NASA had instructed GAA referees to make controversial decisions resulting in Championship losses to Meath at times when the colonies were close to detection. The resulting furores (in 1998, 2002 and 2010) drew attention away from ET families about to be outed. These families were moved to another intergalactic planetary system in another dimension with minimal fuss.
“You’d be surprised who’s an alien so you would,” says the Dundalk accented figure in full Anonymous Hey! Guy Fawkes dress. “How do yous think Dundalk have gotten so much more than Drawda over the years? Alien technology – where do you think that Dundalk got the technology for a pen factory back in the 1960s when everyone else was using pencils? It’s obvious now, but it wasn’t then so it wasn’t.”
The leaked document showed that the Oriel aliens feared being detected by a lone conspiracy theorist who’d left the music business. The individual was close on a number of occasions to unravelling the conspiracy and unmasking the aliens, believed to be intergalactic lizards. However efforts were made to reform his group and his mind was soon focused elsewhere.
The hacking group also have reason to believe that the aliens are backing a Dundalk based politician who likes to use the gym. Core issues like this lead The Faa Side to believe that our democratic system is being compromised.
Gardaí have reported an upsurge in reported sightings of aliens, predominantly on the faa side of the town. A spokes guard urged people not to suspect Dubliners of being aliens just because they looked different before answering a question he axt himself. “Are there aliens in Drawda? No, none.”
As the world’s media descends on the Wee County, we could be about to discover the greatest mystery in the universe – why would aliens move to Dundalk?