Around this time of the year, new gym recruits begin to lose heart. Getting fit is hard work. It requires dedication and willpower. And everyone knows those combination of character traits are about as rare as seeing a Meathman not order a breakfast roll in a restaurant.
Indeed, sometimes it’s just easier to get the vacuum cleaner and the scissors out. That way you lose the weight but cut out the middle man. But the risk of infection is high, especially as if anything goes wrong you’ll have to visit the Lourdes. So here is The Faa Side Guide to successfully keeping up going to the gym.
1. Never go to the gym if your name is Jim
Psychologists have known for years that Jims aren’t great gym goers. Why? Pressure. Everyone is talking about gyms (Jims) this time of year and that only increases the pressure to perform. Jims would be better off going out running or something like that. Curiously, Jimmys are unaffected.
2. Clean the equipment after you
Unless you’re really fit and beautiful, nobody wants to see your bum print sweated into the weights machine seats. Think of it like going to the toilet – if you have to sit down to do the activity then you need to wipe up after yourself.
3. Make sure you look good
The days of working out in uncoordinated clothing are over. Do everyone a favour and dress in colour coordinated Lycra. But don’t wear Lycra that’s too small for you. The general rule of thumb is that if you’re muffintopping Lycra isn’t your friend. Pick up a poncho down town.
5. It’s ok to go to classes even if you’re the only guy
It can be intimidating going to classes on your own and doubly so if you’re the only man in the pole dancing class. But don’t feel self-conscious – where do you think firemen learn to use their poles?
6. Working out alone
There’s no better motivator than looking better than your friends. You can aim to emulate your fitter friend. Use them as a goal. On the other end of the scales (literally) one of your friends is bound to be unfitter than you. This is the best motivation money can’t buy.
7. Warm up and warm down
Failing to warm up means that things will snap. Failing to warm down is worser again.
8. Cut down on the booze
For best results, steer clear of alcohol you drink in glasses and source it elsewhere – brandy butter, cognac cream, chocolate liquors and Christmas puddings are all sources you can to get around gym instructor guilt.