DKIT Study Confirms Dundalk Cats Have More Lives Than Drawda Cats

A study conducted by DKIT has confirmed what many people in the county had believed to be an old wives’ tale – that Dundalk cats have more lives than Drawda cats.

A similar study was carried out in the 1980s, however the results proved inconclusive. Karl Dogget took part in those tests.

“We basically caught a rake of cats and dropped them off the Viaduct and recorded how many times they survived before their lives ran out. The Dundalk cats did seem to have more lives but it was less than conclusive. 

“It’s possible that some of the cats died from shock on the way down and then again on impact. And some of them may have used up some of their lives before we got them. Cats are devious like that, they only care about themselves.”

Controlled Environment

This time tests were carried out in a more controlled environment. A sample group of 100 felines,  split evenly between Drawda and her smaller counterpart, was taken from a wide spectrum of socio-economic backgrounds from fat to stray. These moggies were micro-chipped from birth to ensure that none had lost any lives before the testing began.

The traditional Rathmullen method of cat execution, hanging, was seen as inhumane (even though they’re cats, not humans) so it was decided to use firearms instead. Each scientist was given a hand gun with a round of 10 bullets, which were to be discharged into the cat at 5 minute intervals.

One hundred and ten per cent of the Drawda cats meowed for the last time on the ninth slug. However, the Dundalk cats took 9 bullets no hassles but sadly passed away on the tenth. One stray cat did survive and has been christened Rasputin by the scientists.

A DKIT scientist said, “The study went purrfectly. It proves two things. Firstly that old wives’ tales are true and secondly that the natural world does indeed ape the man-made world, at least in Louth.”