Missing TD Imelda Munster Found Alive And Well

There were scenes of relief in the Republican strongholds of Free Moneymore, Tullyallen and Rathmullen this weekend after TD for Sinn Féin Imelda Munster was found alive and well. Mrs. Munster was last seen getting the Matthesis Bus to Dublin for the first day of the 32nd Dáil on 10th March 2016.

Witnesses say Munster was wearing a Louth coloured power suit, possibly on account of being the first female returned to the Dáil from the Wee County. The alarm was raised about the fledgling TD’s whereabouts after she failed to do anything of note for Drawda.

“There’s a steep learning curve,” said Senator Ged Nash. “Steeper even than Constitution Hill. But you can’t be going up there talking about pot holes or gun clubs – people won’t take you seriously.”

Munster was flushed out by the unveiling the latest 1916 memorial plaque by Sinn Féin in Tullyallen. “We can’t have enough 1916 Proclamation plaques about the place,” said a spokesbot. “Even though we’ve no connection whatsoever to the men of 1916 we feel if we associate ourselves enough with it stupid people will believe it,” he said in his head.

Family and friends welcomed her back in time for Christmas and TD for Gerry Adams Gerry Adams reiterated that she was not one, nor ever had been, one of the Disappeared.

A spokesbot for Mrs. Munster said that a United Ireland was just around the corner.