Inmates in Mosney are in for a treat this Christmas after the Government announced there would be an extra roast potato for every man, woman and child in the refugee camp. The announcement is further evidence that the good times are back.
“This is the best news ever,” said internee Goodluck Amokachi. “I will be like Irish man now, dreaming of schpuds.”
Mosnia has been the recipient of the legendary Irish hospitality in recent years. In 2014 the bumper cars were turned on for half an hour and last year as a treat, anyone who was born in Mosnia was allowed a half hour in the Laser Dome.
But things haven’t always been this decadent. During the Big Freeze in 2010 the camp was given a communal hot water bottle. By the time the last inmate got it in July the water had long gone cold. But necessity is the mother of invention and enterprising youths rented it out for 10 minutes a pop to sweltering camp guards as temperatures hit the late teens.
Refugee spokesman Kosy Kitchen Agahowa, who was born and reared in the camp, thanked the Government for stepping up to the plate.
“The Irish are so generous. They must be nearly out of céad míle fáiltes at this stage! But I have a dream. I have a dream that one day little Mosnian girls and little Mosnian boys will be allowed out into society where they can work and achieve their dreams, simple as they may be of owning a car or maybe one day having a job or going on an airplane without handcuffs on. But it’s just a dream for now. Maybe their grandkidsis kids will get processed. But for now we’re all looking forward to our extra potato.”
“Yes, God bless the Irish.”