Reports are coming in of a man in his 30s cycling around the town without using his handlebars. The man was first seen on Saturday afternoon in what was at first believed to be a one-off event.
A witness told The Faa Side that “He’s obviously trying to impress women cos’ he wasn’t using his hands to text or even scratch his balls.” Video footage seen by The Faa Side shows a man in his mid to late 30s riding a bog standard mountain bike.
The man appears to be cycling normally until he spots a clutch of women. Then he straightens his back, slows down and puts his hands into his pockets, like a ‘cool dude’.
“He thinks he’s 15 again, the prick,” said one jealous witness. “Tinder’s obviously not working for him so he’s resorting to this kind of carry on.”
Repeated sightings of the man means that he takes his place in the Pantheon of Drawda Cycling Weirdos. The best known is the much loved ‘Singing Cyclist’, the legendary Ravey Davey who pedalled furiously around the estates of Drawda, unplugged headphone wires dangling behind him like a cape and singing along to Rod Stewart amongst others.
Concerns have been raised regarding the mental health of the man. A campaign to raise awareness of mid-life crises has been set up by local housewives, the unemployed and is being sponsored by Drawda Men’s Shed.
Should you see this man the best course of action is to ignore him.