Many feel God or even St. Dominic could have done more to save the Dominican church. But with God not in their corner, Fr. Jim and the hunger-striking sacristan were effectively swinging punches with both hands tied behind their backs. We axed a bunch of locals what they’ll be doing now.
“I dunno now. Changing churches is a bit like changing counties in the GAA. Shouldn’t be done.” – Mick, 65.
“My plan is to pray at home for them to return. We’ve been praying for Jesus to come back for 1983 years and they say he’ll be back soon so they do.” – Briege, 72.
“Well there’s no feckin way I’ll be going to the Augustinians. Bloody blow ins. Worse than Dubs!” – Pappy, 66.
“It’s a tough call. The Augustinians haven’t been the same since rebel priest Fr. Iggy left. Did he even believe in God I wonder? You never knew what he’d do but ‘twas always entertaining! A samba mass. Did you ever hear the like?!” – Edward, 60.
“Mell mass. 15 minutes. In and out. No messing. Crunchier wafers too.” – Trisha, 12.
“Might give one them other Gods a go. No harm in a bit of spread betting is there?” – Phil, 19.
“The Domincans are going? To Dundalk is it? They get everything so they do. What’s the Domincans?” – Jaffs, 21.
“I’ll be sticking with the Christian God. Sure if I don’t baptise the kids they’ll end up being discriminated against and going to one of them secular schools where they teach reason instead of magic – where’s the fun in that?” – Eimear, 31.
“I’ve a personal relationship with Jesus and says I to him ‘What’s all this nonsense about the Dominican’s leaving the town?’ and says he to me ‘It’s the first I’ve heard of it Jim even though I’m omnipotent and all-knowing but leave it with me’ he says. ‘I’ll get back to you during the week so I will’ says Himself. I’ll be doing an aul pray later on and I’ll be sure to remind him.” – Jim, 86.
“It’s a big blow to the altar boy community. A big blow.” – Fr. Ray P. Mac An tSagairt Rtd., 88.
“Seen those African churches in the Paddy’s Day Parade. The Mountain of Fire and Explosions or something. They seemed fierce happy so they did there now. Everyone smiling and singing and having the craic. Then I do look at us. Miserable, waiting to die. Might give them a gander. Sure it’s the same fella they’re praying to and the same boook.” – Aggie, 57.
“Sure I do just bring the wife. I do be thinking about women in my head and hoping there’ll be some young ones with nice arses at communion. Whichever church has the best arses. Don’t tell the wife I said that. – Anonymous, 62.
“A good hunger-strike is what we need. God always listens to hunger-strikes.” – Declan, 54.
“Terrible news. Might be time to take the soup.” – Mary, 93.