Drogheda Not Good Enough To Have Any Towns Named After It, Says Dundalk Survey

The ongoing rivalry between Drogheda and Dundalk to find out which is the best has taken a new twist. A survey was recently carried out in the Dundalk area which showed that 110% of respondents agreed with the following statement:

If Drogheda was better than Dundalk surely there would be somewhere else named after it in America (or at a push Australia or New Zealand).

The survey was taken up by most international, national and regional media outlets and ran as fact despite the obvious impartiality of the survey, which was taken between one o’clock and half past on Clanbrassil Street at lunchtime on Friday.

The survey was carried out by Bilderberg Group affiliate Dundalk Hey! a lobby group that works on behalf of Dundalk and has been vital in securing everything for the north Louth town since the independence of the State.

Allegations that every TD elected in north Louth has had links to the group have never gone away and most local Drogheda folk accept that there is little or nothing that can be done to change the situation.

While there is an element of truth to the claim that Drogheda doesn’t have anywhere named after it – a farm called Drogheda in an Australian novel hardly counts – Dundalk is slow to highlight the places named in its honour. And with good reason.

The Dundalk in Ontario, Canada, is no more. It amalgamated with other townships to form the Township of Southgate on 1 January 2000. This was one of the happiest days ever in Drogheda. The Millennium Bug turned out to be hogwash and there was one less Dundalk in the world. A good start to the new century.

The other Dundalk is in Baltimore, Maryland. The same Baltimore where HBO series The Wire was shot and some say, inspired by the poverty and crime of Dundalk. This Dundalk has become more successful than the original one. In terms of population anyway, it is closer to Drogheda. The only good thing that has come from the Baltimore Dundalk is the guy who plays Elmo on the Muppets. As far as we know, nothing good has come from Louth Dundalk.

Dundalk is also twinned with Shelbyville (1990) and El Paso (1844).

The Drogheda reaction has been one of calmness and sense. Droghedians are proud that nowhere else is named after it. That makes it unique. Dundalk folk might argue that imitation is a form of flattery. But when you look at the state of the other Dundalks, you can only shake your head and thank your lucky staas you’re from Drawda.