Mother Teresa Was No Mother Teresa Says Local Student

The backlash against the Catholic Church continued in suburbia this week after a local student declared that Mother Teresa was no Mother Teresa.

Second year Sociology student Thomas McConnon made the announcement over Sunday lunch with his parents and younger twin sisters. His mother Theresa had spent all morning slaving over a roast, getting up at eight in the morning to have the spuds ready to put in the oven while they were at mass.

“I see Mother Teresa of Kolkata has been made into a saint. Well I’ll tell you one thing. She was far from it. Didn’t she prefer to let those sick people die rather than give them medicine? Said it made them closer to God. I’ll tell you this. Mother Teresa was no Mother Teresa.”

Thomas stuck a roast spud in his mouth, happy with the last line – a line he’d heard in the pub last night and was eager to rehash as his own.

“You’re just saying that because you were too hungover to go to mass,” said dad Ernie, trying to diffuse the situation and save the twins from having to use their critical faculties for a while yet. “She was a great woman. Learnt her trade with the nuns in Dublin.”

“Exactly,” smugged Thomas.

“Enough of that talk now. Don’t upset your mother.”

“Would anyone like some horse radish?” mum Theresa said, ignoring the boldness of her son’s statement. We’ve lost young Tommy, she thought. But we still have the twins. They still go to mass. And even if one of them gets pregnant before they finish school, one out of three ain’t bad.

Thomas et the rest of the dinner and some apple tart before announcing his parents to be capitalists and how disgusted he was at them for using a supermarket and not growing their own food.

“Will I put keep some of the dinner for you to heat up tomorrow love?” asked mum.

“Yeah, can you put it with the rest of the weeks shopping? I’m getting the six bus back up to Dublin. Thanks mam. You’re my Mother Theresa.”