Points Increase For Full Time Mad Bastard Course At DIFE

An increase in the number of students taking higher level Sham Studies in the Leaving Cert has pushed up points for the Full Time Mad Bastard course in DIFE. The 25 point increase is set to disappoint local school leavers, many of whom had their heart set on becoming full time mad bastards.

Extra points were made available two years ago for students choosing to take on Honours Sham Studies after a study by Louth Education Board showed a marked decline in the standard of sham hanging about the town. 
“Last year you needed 15 points to get on to the course. Now it’s gone up to 35 points or whatever 25 and 15 is. It’s not fair,” said school leaver Scobie Keirans. 

School pal Ollie McCormack was just as scathing. “I couldn’ta not studied any more than what I didn’t. I even threw away me glasses cos full time mad bastards don’t wear them.”

With demand for the course so high, DIFE announced just this afternoon that those who didn’t get their first choice would be offered a place in a new pilot course, Professional Buzzing.

Full Time Mad Bastard alumnus and course lecturer Kaal Flaherty gave some advice to fresher students.

“These days it’s important to have a qualification in something. Our courses in Mad Bastarding and Professional Buzzing are highly sought after and are as useful as an Aats degree.”

A Part-Time Mad Bastard course will take place on week nights from September.