Fianna Fáil to set up a tent at the National Leprechaun Hunt in Carlingford

Fianna Fáil have responded to grass roots pressure and announced plans to set up a tent at the National Leprechaun Hunt in Carlingford this weekend.

Card carrying members from all creeds were bouyed last week by the return of ‘Leprechaun Economics’, which served the country so well during the boom years. Fianna Fáil spokespump Paschal Byrne made the announcement after arriving at the opening of a Cuban cigar emporium in Tallanstown by helicopter earlier today.

“Leprechauns are good, reliable builders,” he said. “They know their section 23s from their section 27s and right now this country needs to build itself out of a housing crisis.

“Leprechauns build good solid apartment dwellings and as we know, space is at a premium, especially in the capital, Dublin. In conjunction with the Leprechauns, we’ve built on Alan Kelly’s restructuring of apartment sizes and come up with proposals that we feel are sustainable with modern urban living.”

Regulations introduced by the previous Minister for the Environment, Community and Local Government Alan Kelly revised the minimum required size of one bed apartments from 55m2 to 45m2, two-bed apartments from 90m2 to 73m2 and three-bed apartments from 100m2 to 93m2.

Under Fianna Fáil’s proposal, the floor space of such apartments would remain unchanged however the height of such developments would be modified from 3m to 1.60m.

“Reducing head space would significantly increase the amount of housing units we can construct. For example, your typical six storey aparment complex would now include two to three more floors.

“This development is aimed at first time buyers, many of whom have young children who by their very nature aren’t that tall anyway. And good parents spend most of their time on the floor playing with their kids so headspace isn’t a big concern.”

Leprechauns are known to be shrewd operators though they have a reputation for cutting corners and ignoring snag lists.

In a joint statement the Leprechauns and Fianna Fáil confirmed that entry to the tent has been set at a two kilogram pot of gold in accordance with established weights and measures. The scales have been adjusted for Fools Gold, they added.


 

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