Drawda Still Bigger Than Dundalk Reconfirms 2016 Census

There are two certainties in this life. One of them is Drawda folk voting in Dundalk politicians and Dundalk folk not voting in Drawda politicians. The other is that Drawda will always be bigger than Dundalk, a fact reconfirmed by the Census 2016 results.

With a population of 42347 , Drogheda is STILL bigger than Dundalk according to the very reliable Central Statistics Office (CSO). While this fact is reconfirmed every 5 years by the census, for some reason Dundalk is still the county town.

Other statistics which are hard to measure qualitatively showed that Drawda is the better town overall. In fact, Dundalk only trumped Drawda in the Smuggling and Ex-IRA Men Living in the Town and Still Involved in Organised Crime categories.

Statistics also showed that the population of Drawda is foeteen times better looking than their Dundalk counterparts even taking into consideration the influx of Dubliners to the town.

Worryingly however, the census showed that both the Drawda accent and Dundalk accents are getting stronger hey though there has been a fall off in the strength of the Ardee brogue, perhaps a reflection of the embarrassment Ardee teenagers feel when they leave the county and mingle with well spoken folk in larger towns.

“It’s quite remarkable really. Drawda’s population has always been higher than Dundalk. Even when Cromwell burnt half the town they’d more going for them in terms of population and prospects,” confirmed a spokesman from the CSO. “I guess you have to put it down to a better breed on the Louth part of the Boyne,” he added.

Some Dundalk voices have raised concerns about the validity of the census after statistics released on Tuesday by the CSO showed that the economy had grown by a whopping 26% giving rise to suspicions of a return to the ‘Leprechaun Economics’ that brought economic meltdown to the country in September 2008. And they should know. The annual Leprechaun hunt takes place in Carlingford and the leprechaun contractors are known to keep rooms in Dundalk when not working.

The CSO confirmed that it expects the same result in the 2021 Census.