In a video on Youtube, local traveller Johnny Connors has vowed to destroy the proposed Shinnerbot factory in Drogheda. Speaking from an unidentified halting site, Connors warned that the new factory would lead to the singularity and eventual enslavement of the human race.
“I’m telling ye boss, this factree’ll be the end of us all now so it will,” warned Connors. “The sem ting happent a cousint of mine in the Schtates in 1991 so it did and they med a documentary about it. It was in the cinemas.
“Mamma said to me when I was a babba that when robots kem back I’d need to be ready – isn’t that why we’ve been collecting all the scrap metal, power tools and dags all these years boss? We’ve been preparing. But we get no tanks for it a tall a tall.”
Connors’ mum Sarah is known to suffer from from mental health issues and broke out of Ardee Psychiatric Hospital on Monday evening. She was committed foeteen years ago after claiming a robot she called a ‘Shinnerbot’ from the future had been sent back in time to kneecap her.
Curiously, she is rumoured to have fallen pregnant by a foot soldier her future son sent back to protect her, though whether her son will know this at the time remains unclear (he must have known).
Young Johnny was raised by an uncaring uncle and had to fend for himself – and though he doesn’t know it yet, those hard years have cultivated a steely resolve vital to resisting the rise of the machines.
Gardaí are eager to speak with Mr. Connors after two men of the same name were murdered in the Drogheda area yesterday for no apparent reason other than their shared name.
A member of the local Mell’s Angels motorcycle gang reported having his Harley Davidson and leathers stolen by a naked body builder with an Austrian accent. Gardaí are advising the public not to approach the man who may be armed and dangerous.
Connors warned that a newer version of the Shinnerbot, the iT1000 which is based on original SF cyborg prototype Gerry Adams, has been sent back to eliminate him and by doing so eliminate all future human resistance to the singularity.