They say a town without a chipper is a town without a soul. You can apply that maxim to bridges and rivers. Here’s our guide to Drawda’s best bridges.
Bridge of Peace
Built in the 1970s to help ruin the town by connecting it properly with Dublin, the Bridge of Peace has her critics. However most would agree it does a fine job connecting this side of the town with the faa side.
Popular amongst graffiti artists and underage drinkers, the Bridge of Peace is also the location for the bizarre but much loved ritual of waving black flags at cars once a year by local Sinn Féin activists.
Interestingly, but for a 360° U-turn, the bridge was originally to be named the Bridge of War on account of the Troubles. Underrated.
St. Mary’s Bridge
For centuries it was the only bridge in the whole of Drawda. If for some mad reason you were forced to visit relatives in Meath, this is where you’d say goodbye to the sound half of your family while they prayed for your safe return. Then one day during the heritage holocaust of Drogheda, the Council knocked it down and built today’s ghastly incarnation on the same spot.
The Haymarket Bridge
Not a bad bridge, steady, like an accountant with prospects. Good alcoves for smokers to stop and get shelter lighting up. Overshadowed by the ugliest car park in Europe on one side and the ghost of Xtravision on the other. A hidden gem.
St. Dominic’s Bridge
The hipsters choice. Has a tarmacked road on it that doesn’t go anywhere, ironically mapping the future lives of the town’s hipsters. Said one bearded guy with stupid clothes “It crosses the river but kinda like it doesn’t even want to? Doubly ironic given that it’s made of iron so you could say it’s, I dunno but I do, irony.”
Local anti-bridge lobbyists accuse it of being a death trap to flying swans.
The Bridge down the Glen
This neo-classical masterpiece straddles the fast flowing Glen river. Some say a bridge wasn’t needed – you could jump over it handy enough. But an EU directive dictated that all rivers, including tributaries, must be bridged. Before it became toothless, Drogheda Borough Council complied and turned the area into a salmon best viewed from a hot air balloon. It was a time before housing crises, interest in politics and when only people who worked could afford the internet.
They said it was made of wool painted with stone coloured paint. They said it would fall down as soon as a train touched it. So they prayed under it akskin God to turn the wool into stone. He did. A miracle.
Great views on a clear day. Noted for it’s seasonal Sunshine Bar. Critics decry its lack of a footbridge and that money was spent giving it a lick of paint when there’s people needing houses. Sure if the Council cared they’d have hollowed out the arches and med them into flats. That’s what the internet says anyway.
The de Lacy Bridge
The youngest of the town’s bridges. Sways unnervingly but apparently it’s meant to…
Young romantics yet to have their hearts bittered rotten by the cruel mistress of love and betrayal put locks on it to show their eternal love to each other. The Faa Side’s advice – get one of them combination locks so you can go back and reuse it once the magic is gone. Fierce handy to have, especially in gyms.