Callan’s head now appearing in fucking fields

Cllr. Callan says the crop circles are natural phenomenon.

Councillor Kevin Callan has denied allegations that he is responsible for a series of agricultural advertisements that have cropped up in the fields surrounding Drogheda since Monday.

Councillor Callan’s image has been seared on Drogheda’s consciousness after erecting approximately 42,000 election posters in recent weeks.

The ubiquitous councillor told The Faa Side that the crop circles were “a natural phenomena” which occurs in south Louth and east Meath if the correct ecological and climatic conditions are in place.

“This has been happening for years but nobody has reported on it – Cllr. Godfrey had this very same issue during the last local elections in the very same field on the Duleek side of the M1 there at Plattin,” explained the ex-Fine Gael man.

“It’s only now that people have access to drones that sightings are becoming more common and it just so happens that conditions are ripe for this type of phenomenon at the moment. I think we’ll be seeing more of it what with all the global warming going on. I’ve spoken to a climatologist friend who assured me that the current conditions giving rise to this phenomena will be around until the end of the month.”

Crop Circle Shanks
The same field during the 2014 local elections. 

The Faa Side contacted farmers whose fields have been affected by the phenomena. All agreed that it was indeed a natural occurrence to do with the unique topography, soil type and proximity to elections.

 

“Images of local politicians have been cropping up around here since democracy was invented. We are just custodians of the land, Gaia will do as she pleases,” said a farming spokeshand.

We’ll let our readers decide.