Last night’s inaugural dog in the car park behind the old Donaghy’s Mill was a runaway success say organisers. Nothing like it has ever been seen on the Louth side of the Boyne before.
However, the evening didn’t pass off as smoothly as organizers had hoped. A rosary of anti-dogging protestors lit candles and said prayers at the entrance to the Mill while seasoned doggers beeped and flipped them the sausage.
The meet, Dog the Town, was attended by approximately 30 vehicles, not including the couples what kem on bicycles.
Local dogging activist and brains behind the movement ‘Hound’ Doug Coyle welcomed the crowd with a short address appealing for funding and acceptance.
“We’re proud of who we are. What we do, we do with pride. We don’t judge but we are subject to judgement.
“We are on the bottom rung of Drogheda’s sexual ladder. We try to climb up the ladder but all we see at the top are the Swingers of Stameen, giving each other handjobs with one hand while getting hand-outs from the Rotary Club in the other, all the while batting away what they consider to be deviants with hockey sticks and riding crops.
“They’d chip and pin us given the chance,” rabble roused Hound Doug. “This here tonight is the first step up the sex ladder. Sign the petition and dog with pride! Oh, and before we start can I bring to your attention the safety exits and point out Terry and Mavis over in the Order of Malta tent should anyone get into difficulty. This dog is now off his lead!”
With that, Coyle stuck out his tongue and began panting before scampering over to his hatch back on all fours and flicking the lights on and off – dogging code like you didn’t know.
Drogheda’s dogging community have several aims. The first is to create a safe and sustainable dogging zone in the town. The second is to create employment and generate much needed revenue for Drogheda. They hold that both the Borough Council and Drogheda Chamber of Commerce have failed to look outside the box in terms of revenue generation.
“We just want a safe place to dog,” says Coyle, puffing on a post-doggal Johnny Blue. “That’s the priority. We’ve identified a location and if you look around you’ll see we have the interest. Think what could be achieved if we had an all-weather dogging pitch? Dundalk have one – with a stand – why can’t we?”
“Then there’s the social element to it. People are doing what they love, being let off the lead so to speak. You tend to get groups of friends going dogging. It’s a social thing. They’ll go for a drink after and maybe a bite to eat. Dogging is the new cinema.
“Before you know it you’d have an area of the town that was dilapidated being regenerated. The current government love taxing things and if it meant dogging becoming a safer, regulated and sustainable pursuit then we’d not be adverse to a bit of taxing. We’re all for wealth generation.
“I mean, there is so much we could do for this town. We’ve already had a consultancy firm rebrand it as a top dogging spot in Ireland – Dogheda – let yourself off the lead. And we’ve plans for a series of fund-raising Dog-athons in the spring.
A shaggy dog story
Make no bones about it, the dog meet itself went down a treat. To the surprise of many, Ireland’s top dogging couple Jim and Helen Donnelly made a surprise re-appearance. The couple left for the bright lights of the Birmingham dogging scene in August having outgrown the Irish circuit. Top Dog Andy Russell spoke exclusively to The Faa Side about the coup.
“I’d be lying if I didn’t say that favours were called in. I’ve dogged with Jim and Helen since the 90s. I even lent them my car when Jim was off the road. They always had it back to me spic and span the next morning in time for the school run.
“If you’ve a genuine interest in the sport you’ll have seen the videos.”
“The inside of my car would look like some sort of jism cave, with stalactites dangling from the sunroof, shimmering like gloopy white honey, the glare of headlights shining in giving the whole scene an ethereal, unearthly feel. The moaning from inside the car would be echoed by a chorus of hunch-shouldered men crescented around the car, like monks chanting in a film. I still have the episode of Euro Thrash they made about it on tape.
The appearance of the golden couple certainly raised performance levels. Novice doggers Siobhan and Keith had to really concentrate on their game.
“For me, the only way you’ll get to the next level is to play with better doggers. Test yourself like. Having Jim and Helen come over certainly helped us raise our performance a couple of notches. Normally I’d have been put out if I’d been tapped on the shoulder mid-rattle and told to step aside but when I saw who it was I was like ‘Yea no, man. My pleasure. Bang away yea.’
“It was like Messi teaching you how to do a step over. You realise you’ve been doing it wrong all along.
“I usually analyse my performance after,” explained Siobhan. “If I’m not happy with it I do be in a bad mood until I’ve a chance to put it right. But I was very happy tonight. There was a huge crowd around the car and Jim gave me his card afterwards. I think my face’ll be beetroot for days!”
Siobhan and Keith epitomised the vast majority of doggers there last night.
Doug Coyle closed the meet by thanking everyone.
“I’d like to thank everyone who came down to the dog. I saw many familiar faces and recognised some arses I’d not seen in years! There was a lot of love here tonight. Remember, sign the petition. Love you guys.”
A number of doggers were refused entry after security deemed them either too rough or below the minimum standard, a seven. They were advised of an alternative dog meet out at the Seafield in Laytown.