The 7 Modern Wonders of Drawda

The Faa Side flips the bird at those who think Drawda doesn't have 7 wonders.

Nominations are now open to name the Seven Modern Wonders of Drawda. The competition, run by Drogheda Borough Council in conjunction with UNESCO, aims to celebrate the rich heritage the town says it has.

After some cursory research, Drogheda Borough Council has selected a list of monuments, however, the public may nominate up to five more not already on this list ahead of a public vote some time soon.

The Council’s list includes the Boyne Trollies, the Sunshine Bar and sporting pantheon Little Wembley. The controversially erected Shrine to the Hunger Strikers Who Weren’t Even from the Town Even makes an appearance as does the ever-popular Secret Smoking Room in Saarches pub.

Needless to say there would be a peasant revolt if The Wino Seat at the Tholsel was overlooked. Making up the list is omnipotent councillor Shanks Godfrey, the only human to be nominated in what is generally a list of inanimate objects – though that could change.

The competition will bestow UNESCO heritage status on the winners, just as there is with the Seven Ancient Wonders of Drogheda. However, like all UN resolutions, designation as a heritage site is no guarantee of protection.

One only has to look at Meath County Council letting the homeless live in Newgrange, Star Wars nerds filming on the Skelligs or Srebrenica to see how seriously the UN is taken. Closer to home, we take pride in ignoring the UN’s institutions by continuing to allow automobiles to drive through St. Laurence’s Gate and by clandestinely supplying pikes and assault rifles to our brave brethren defending the south side of the Boyne from Meath aggression.

People distracted by this type of frivolous activity should be advised that nominations will not be accepted from monuments already on the Ancient Wonders list. These include What’s Left of the Town Walls, the much missed Money Fountain That Changed Colour in the Old Town Centre and St. Peter’s Grotto, which was great for climbing on to escape assailants and to watch the Paddy’s Day Parade.

Completing the list are the Cup and Saucer, The Viaduct, McDonnell’s Video Library and Laurence’s Gate.

St. Oliver Plunkett’s head was temporarily replaced late last year on the Ancient Wonders list by The Viaduct after a tiny body was found under the head by a cleaner. Pending a garda inquiry, UNESCO suspended the head and removed it from the list.

Nominations from the public are encouraged. Over the coming days and weeks, The Faa Side will be previewing public nominations.