Drogheda suffered another blow this week as heritage superpub Darby O’Gills shut its doors for the final time.
As two days of local mourning were declared, the tricolour was flown at half mast on Government buildings. Volunteers are handing out black armbands and a book of condolences has been opened in the Tholsel. Churches have been ordered to ring their bells at last orders tonight in a fitting send off.
Darby O’Gill’s was opened by an Irish American businessman who had long dreamt of running an authentic Irish pub from the 1800s. The reason for the closure is not yet known.
Local gamblers leaving nearby bookies for a sneaky pint between the 3.30 from Epsom and the 3.40 from Navan made the discovery when they were met with shut doors.
“It definitely put me off me form,” complained local boozehound Baz Corrigan. “I think it definitely affected the horses as none a me bets came home and that’s not like me.”
A similar scene greeted the slip of gamblers as plans for a snakey pint between the 3.40 from Navan and the 3.50 from Doncaster were scuppered.
Determined to sink a swift half between the 4.00 from Aintree and the 4.05 from Chepstow, the lads rushed back out to see if there had been any movement.
There were rumblings of discontent and the first signs that the DTs were affecting patrons abilities to get their bets correct. Sevens were becoming ones and fives were becoming sixes, leading to rows in the bookies and no idle threats of arson.
The 4.15 from the Curragh. Surely they’d be open for the big race. But no. Andrew’s Regret romped home at 7/4 but Darby O’Gill’s remained as closed as Narrow West Street.
What was going on? One of the slip thought he seen a horseman of the apocalypse go by the bottom of the alley. Skinny Jimmy Dyas was sent over to Egans to get some naggins and cider.
Everybody deserved a Fat Frog after Bike Curious and Hoof Hearted photo-finished at the 4.25 from Uttoxeter. But again, Darby O’Gills seemed to be shut. John Plum was losing patience.
“I come here every day for a blue WKD and a bit of peace while I study the form. Something’s up. You can’t smell any cheese toasties or nothing. This is bullshit.”
Even generous odds of 8/1 on SarahJessicaParker at the 4.40 from Ascot failed to shift the air of impending doom.
“Fuck this for a bag of gees!” Pints Beginski was not a happy man. “Will we go down the Admirals the fuck?” He was the first to crack, his brain scrambled hot like a plate of eggs and pepper.
Darby O’Gills was gone. A way of life. A dream. Like an advert from the telly. As well as being yet another two fingers up to the heritage of the town it is a hammer blow for the town’s Irish American community.
“What’ll this government do to us next? First the water charges and now this. Ged Nash has a lot to answer for,” said a chalkboard outside Spoil Sports in the hope of drawing in punters on their way home from picking up the dole.