Stars unite for Lobinstown charity single

Funds raised from the single will go to the purchase of a cordless strimmer and a man to watch the roads for grass growth.

While Paris tries to make sense of a series of murderous Jihadi terrorist attacks and Russia and NATO stand on the brink of war, a small pocket of Meath is engulfed in a crisis of its own.

Enough was enough. Laytown-Bettystown Cllr. Paddy Meade made the call on Monday evening. He contacted the Drogheda Independent. Boreen grass scraping the underside of cars. If we tolerate this, he thought, then our children will be next.

Things quickly went viral. Last night at the Three Arena during a U2 concert, lead singer Bono-Vox highlighted the plight of Lobinstowns’ roads with a moving speech and video about the harsh living conditions faced by Meath folk on the border with Louth.

Dedicating Bullet the Blue Sky to the downtrodden of the Louth-Meath border region, the U2 frontman said that Laytown-Bettystown Cathaoirleach Cllr. Paddy Meade didn’t go far enough when he likened conditions on the Meath side of the border near Drogheda to the Gaza Strip.

 

“I’ve been to Gaza many times, too many times for one lifetime. I’ve seen the suffering of our Palestinian brothers. I’ve seen hell rain down from the skies on the dreams of innocent children. I’ve seen the helpless die in bombed out hostipals from colds because there was no medicine…you think you’ve seen it all.

 

“This morning I was taken to the Louth-Meath border by Amnesty International. This morning I wept. I thought the depths of human suffering had already been reached.

 

“But then I went to a small place with a big heart. You guys might not know its name but you should. And you will. Lobinstown. [breathes heavily] Lobinstown y’allll!

 

“There’s good honest tax paying folk there just trying to get by. And they’ve been hindered by grass growing in the middle of the roads – grass that has been scraping the bottom of cars…

 

“This once proud people, descended from the High Kings of Ancient Ireland has suffered enough! I am a Royal. You are a Royal. We’re all Royals! Together we can end this injustice. Hit it Edge!”

 

Bono then looked into the eyes of everyone, raised his arm in solidarity and invited Cllr. Meade to dance with him while he sang One.

Smart phones were held up poignantly and a mild stampede was experienced as punters and Latino fans shuffled forward to angle themselves and the heart breaking images from Lobinstown into the perfect selfie that said ‘I was there that day. Me. Deal with it.’

The call to arms in Tuesday's Drogheda Independent.
The call to arms in Tuesday’s Drogheda Independent.

The plight of Lobinstown has gathered pace overnight and a charity single to raise funds for a cordless strimmer has already been recorded. The single Do They Know It’s Christmas? features Bono, Bob Geldof, Johnny Logan, Mick Lyons, Jedward and the ginger couple that represented Ireland at Eurovision as well as a guest rap by Cllr. Meade himself.

With people virtue signalling Facebook’s Lobinstown filter by the thousands, Cllr. Meade is confident that enough singles will be sold to cover the cost of strimming the effected roads.

“It’s important we tackle the problem now. This should have been done during the summer when it was dry,” exasperated Cllr. Meade. “Everyone knows cutting grass in winter is asking for trouble.”

Do They Know It’s Christmas? is available from all remaining record stores and on iTunes. People have been asked to include the hashtag #LobinstownHumanitarianCrisis2015 when tweeting or just talking to people.