Launching his Jobs and Enterprise vision ahead of the upcoming general election, Cllr. Kevin Callan highlighted the fate of the old Fire Station on Scarlet Street, which has been allowed to deteriorate to a degree that it is now a regular target for vandals, graffiti artists as well as a dumping ground for the town’s thriving fly tipping cult.
Councillor Callan cites a documentary he saw about an old firehouse in New York where doctors Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spengler and Winston Zeddemore used the building to house a start-up company which specialized in the holding of non-corporeal entities. The SME, though initially successful, was forced to shut down due to spiralling legal costs and nit-picking initiated by a jealous New York City Council sanitation official. Drogheda Borough Council, Cllr. Callan insisted, is a very different beast. A beast fully committed to supporting start-ups and SMEs throughout the town.
“My colleagues on Drogheda Borough Council and I are fully committed in our efforts to transform Scarlet Street into a major hub for start-up companies as well as SMEs. Even my Sinn Féin colleagues, who are opposed to wealth generation in principle, are on board.”
Councillor Callan sees the building as a prime candidate to kick-start the regeneration of Scarlet Street and is confident that the area can become a magnet for start-ups and eventually, a paranormal digital hub capable of attracting the next wave of social media behemoths.
“We have a situation where a once well maintained building is vacant, with boarded and smashed windows. There are a number of options for this space and they need to be explored. One such option, would be to introduce a reduced non-corporeal tax of 9% for parapsychologists such as the aforementioned ‘ghost hunters.’
“Reduced rates would encourage enterprises similar to that of doctors Venkman, Spengler and co to set up here in Scarlet Street. This rate would be available not just for budding parapsychology start-ups but for other SMEs too. In Drogheda we often complain of a lack of facilities. When it comes to inward investment we say there is no suitable space in the town centre. Well this is our chance to change that.
“From the point of view of foreign direct investment, companies such as Traveller Tinder Ltd will be seeking premises to expand and we must always be looking at facilitating the expansion of start-ups and FDI companies.”
Travel Tinder Ltd has already expressed an interest in using the adjoined car park as a dating space provided the steel height restriction at the entrance is removed.
Speaking off the record, Cllr. Callan also revealed that he has been in touch with Drs. Spengler and Venkman as well as local parapsychologist expert Patrick Griffin regarding the current ghoul problem the town is experiencing. Since the Headless Horseman of Collon retired, the town has been attracting a variety of spectres who appear to be honing their haunting skills ahead of what Head Monk O’Grady has called “an extremely competitive selection process.” Coupled with the continued flooding of the Newtown Cemetery, many non-corporeal bodies have simply nowhere to go, so they drift back to their old haunts.
A public meeting to address the status of the old Fire Station is due to be held soon.
Photo credit: www.droghedalife.com