GAA Poll: Relegation sees Ambassador Kelly fly Meath amalgamation kite

Has Louth football come to this?

Speaking after Louth’s relegation to Division 4 of the National Football League, an emotional Renault Ambassador and Louth manager Colin Kelly spoke of the positives of Division 4 football next term before falling to pieces and suggesting Louth amalgamate with Meath (if they’d even have us).

“We have to look at the positives so we do. We can’t be relegated again so we can’t… [loyal ambassadorial assistant Eugene Judge hands the Ambassador a slip of paper which he reads] …though it appears that if you finish in the bottom two for three consecutive years you forfeit your league place and have to play kerbs. So we’ll have to be mindful of that. But on the bright side, there’ll be a trip on an airplane to London for us so there will.


“We have to think outside the square. I’ll be speaking to Louth County Board about maybe entering the Asian Games. I’m confident we could do well over there so I am and it would be a great boost for the players and the county to enter the All-Ireland Championship as kings of the world’s most populous continent. There’d be a fear factor there for other teams so there would, a bit of mystique. We might even find some tactically astute Chinese lads.


“But then the gloom hits. We’d too many red cards this year and we had the worst defence in the country. We were unlucky last week against Armagh so we were and how Sligo were allowed to keep their two points after they cheated again us I’ll never know. But for that anomaly it’d be them here instead of us. The margins are that tight.


“But are we just kidding ourselves? Is the best we can hope for eternal mediocrity and only that if we’re lucky? Now I mightn’t be the most popular Ambassador and Louth manager to say this so I mightn’t…but is it time we seriously thought about amalgamating with Meath? At least then our home games in Navan would be home games.”


With that, the Ambassador wiped a tear from his eye and closed the dressing room door. It will be hard to see the Ambassador survive this.

Farewell sweet prince.