Forty Shades of Shanks – St. Patricks’s Day Parade 2015 odds

Poster for 2015 St. Patrick's Day Parade themed 40 Shades of Shanks

Sandwiched between the twin disappointments of the failed Fleadh bid and Trevor Giles escaping relatively intact (less half a limb and a clump of shoulder) from the Running of the Meathman and the looming spectre of yet another Samba Festival, the 2015 Drogheda Saint Patrick’s Day Parade brings welcome relief to the town. This year’s parade, entitled 40 Shades of Shanks in homage to Drogheda’s most famous political mandarin, is set to be beamed into at least 124 countries, weather permitting. 

With first prize in this year’s best float competition a staggering $14 million, Drogheda could be forgiven for being gripped by what locals are calling ‘parade fever’. The Boyneside parade is now ranked second only to the Rio de Janeiro carnival in terms of spectacle and promiscuous abandon. It is a far cry from the dark days of the mid 1990s when the parade struggled for supremacy with Dundalk for the Louth spot on the special St. Patrick’s Day edition of the Six One news. While the town of Dundalk succumbed to banditry after an influx of northerners migrated there in the wake of the 1998 Good Friday Agreement, Drogheda went from strength to strength. And if there is one person who made it all possible, it is the man in whose honour Tuesday’s parade is being held in, a Mr. Shanks Godfrey.

Mr. Godfrey, known affectionately as Shanks, is to receive the freedom of most of the town in a private ceremony after the floats have been judged. He will also be inducted into the Bilderberg Group.

PADDYS DAY FLOAT LINEUP

The minds of local women have been distracted no end as a number of both male and female celebrities have been spotted in the town. Not since the night Beppe di Marco from the soap opera Eastenders and the breasted Jordan pulled pints in the Earth Night Club has the town lost the run of itself like it has this week.

The parade kicks off at midday. The running order of the floats and odds can be seen below:

  • Grand Master Shanks [compère]
  • Drogheda Brass Band [750/1]
  • Kevin Callan on his horse [2500/1]
  • Drogheda Firemen [850/1]
  • Tulleyallen Erotic Art Collective [7/4]
  • Civil Defense Force [200/1]
  • Drogheda’s Nicest Organ Doners [25/1]
  • Dominican Church Part-time Hunger Strikers [A wing and a prayer]
  • Beppe from Eastenders [non-competitive participant]
  • Stameen Swingers [4/6f]
  • Renault Ambassador and Louth manager Colin Kelly [2-26/2-9]
  • Drogheda Urban Knitting Conglomerate [900/1]
  • Teenage Pregnancy Crises [40/1]
  • A Collection of Turkish Dignitaries [500/1]
  • Rathmullen Pigeon Club [105/2]
  • The Chinese [18/1]
  • Kevin Callan’s Hot Air Balloon [35/1]
  • The Wolf of Narrow West Street [80/1]
  • Laytown Doggers [25/1]
  • An Grianan’s Female Beekeepers [9/2]
  • Tommy the Weightlifting Dwarf [100/1]
  • Ship Street Dwarves (separate float) [6/4]
  • Yellowbattered Husbands [2000/1]
  • Romanian Babies – Didn’t Most of Them Do Grand Float [23/1]
  • Selection of Same Sex livestock [6/4]
  • Mystic goats of Newgrange Farm [15/8]
  • Drogheda’s Little Hard Chaws [200/1]
  • Ballsgrove’s Most Ripped Scroats [35/1]
  • The Anti-Gay Marriage Printers [800/1]
  • Drogheda’s Incarcerated Mums (caged) [not eligible]
  • Moneymore Secessionist Movement (by special invite-pending)
  • Drogheda’s Anti-Gluten League [90/1]
  • Oliver Cromwell’s Repentant Descendents [7/2]
  • Johnny Logan Does Saint Patrick (religious swooning music)
  • This Years Boy Scouts [odds on request]
  • Mell’s Sluttiest Barmaids [3/1]
  • St. Peter’s Male Castrato Choir [50/1]
  • Tommy Leddy [90/1]
  • Collon Badger Cullers Co-op [25/1]
  • Paddy McCabe [special invitee, walking]