Gameweek 4: Drogheda Borough Council Publicity League

We have a new leader! Mayor Callan has put in the kind of media performance in the last two weeks that had Kim Kardashian pointing to Drogheda on a giant map with her selfie stick and seeing a nemisis. The Faa Side had been worried about Mayor Callan’s over-reliance on the Leader, but he put any doubts to bed by straddling both local papers like modern day Colossus of Rhodes shouting ‘Who’s yo dadday!’ Political watchers will be keeping a close eye on the renegade ex-Fine Gaeler over the coming game weeks to see whether this was a mere flash in the pan or part of a wider strategy of dominance.

A fine couple of weeks was had by Cllr. Tommy Byrne, who put in commendable face time while being outraged by dumpers and chasmesque potholes. ‘Not on my patch! No sir!’ seems to be Cllr. Byrne’s mantra. While issues such as these may result in a healthy points tally now, fixing them once and for all will have a negative effect on his points going forward. The Faa Side suggests that Cllr. Byrne familiarise himself with the Gilette disposable razor blade business model. The Gilette dynasty wouldn’t be where it is today if it had produced a blade that didn’t need replacing. But then who is TFS to lecture Cllr. Byrne about political dynasties! The Faa Side would like to congratulate Senator Byrne on his nomination as Fianna Fáil candidate for East Meath in the upcoming general election. It must be a sweet feeling to have the opportunity to be a paid elected official again.

Cllr. Tully put in a fine performance too, even managing some face time in the Leader. However, his eyes betrayed grave reluctance and his gait was that of a man not wanting to waste the trappings of office on a free newspaper.

Cllr. Godfrey slipped into second place after a disappointing showing at the Irish Water Protest. Not one shot of the photogenic councillor made it into either publication. The Faa Side is putting this down to a rare off day for the councillor. It can happen. There were unsubstantiated rumours that the councillor had been away filming for the hit American series Better Call Saul (as an older fugitive Saul) which may explain his lack of impact. Shanks did however benefit, along with Cllrs. Byrne and Tully, with a bonus ten points after Cllr. Cassidy fell for the kind of prank that saw The Faa Side ask the butcher where the pudding bender was on his first day at work in Dunnes Stores cold meats section.

Cllr. Cassidy finally provided some evidence of his existence with some namedropping in the €2 Drogheda Independent. There must have been watery eyed sniggers and nudges from Cllrs. Byrne, Godfrey and Tully as the young Sinn Féin protégé name-checked them positively in public. Under league rules this incurred a 10 point penalty, leaving the forlorn councillor in minus figures for the season (-10).

Perhaps this major publicity gaffe by the inexperienced councillor inspired team mate Imelda Munster to step up to the plate and deliver her best performance of the season to date. Cllr. Munster handled the dangerous road crossing at Mell with a delicacy and panache rarely associated with her party. Bravo! This great showing still leaves her just outside the top five though – if it was a top six she’d be in there, it should be noted. But it’s not, so she’s not. But if she carries on like this she will be.

Councillor Culhane put in a solid if unspectacular shift while it seems that Cllr. Pio is on holidays. Cllr. Flood may also be on holidays as the only mention of his name was a high tide warning for cars parked near the Boyne.

Councillor Bell again put in a steady week and must be considered a dark horse at this early stage. The Faa Side’s political desk almost awarded a bonus point for an archival photograph in the €2 Drogheda Independent but decided on a whim against it.